Secret Life of AMBER

A random thought

I’m tired of being used & treated horribly . . When I say used , I don’t mean as in a smut or something like that . . But I mean , people becoming friends with me for information, or money, or gifts . . Imma generous person who gives everyone an oppurtunity, however, I know when i’m being used . . & I know my limits .. Don’t try to take advantage of my intelligence and kindness . Deadass . . #RANDOM

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Dear _________ ,

Letting you go was one of the hardest things I had to ever do . . I would always have feelings for you but it seemed like it was going no where .. Why give 1OO when I was only getting back 5O . . & honestly , I was willing to wait but at the same time I was waiting for a veryyyy long time .. It was about time I just move on . . You have your shawtys . . I basically have nothing but i’m fine . . No big deal . . It was something that had to be done . . & now as you try to re-enter my life as a big part , I don’t think I could ever go down that road again . . One minute you want a relationship next minute you don’t . . & I don’t rush things , I just wanna know where ya head is at .. & trust me . It’s not in the place it should be to have me . . Anyways . . I hope you continue to succeed & allat good stuff . . Bye

- - - Amber

I think i’m going to be single for the rest of eternity . . *Sigh* . . Really thou .. It really seems like no one wants me . .& the people who might want me either don’t speak up or just don’t deserve me . . I personally don’t chase the male population . . I would rather them come to me . . But boys these days so out of order . They want the females to come to them . . Therefore, I guess no moves would ever be made . .

Like before . . Me & this one boy started talking . . He hit me up saying he was feeling me and honestly the feeling was mutual . . So we decided to try to take it serious . . But on Twitter he’s a wholee different person as well as in school . . On Twitter he tweets stuff like ” You won’t ever see me cuffed .” or ” Bitches be wack nowadays . Can’t fuck with em.” o_O . . Cutee . . So i deaded him . . He never actually said he didn’t want to progress in our relationship but if we’re never going to get anywhereeee then why would I even waste my time . I can’t say theres plenty of other boys who want me but I feel imma great person that anyone should love to have . So why sit and waste time taking someone ohdee serious who is not willing to do the same for me . . Mind you , when me & him were together we had something amazingggg . . But it seemed like in school he neverr knew me and as soon as school was out he was all of a sudden a boyfriend type . . *Sigh* .. I hate that cus honestly if you don’t know me in school den F you . . Don’t know me outside of school . . But i REALLLLLY liked him . . Everything happens for a reason thou . . So i let it go . . & even thou i’m sad & mopping,I sooo hope something better comes my way [ eventualllyy ) . .

How you found out about tumblr and why you made one

My sisters Bria & Melissa [ BTW i love you quys ) encouraged me to make one a while ago . . I loveeeee their blogs and I decided to make one . . Another reason was because I thought I would have things that could help people or be interesting to people when they read it . . I enjoy writing and sharing stories about my life and this was a way to express myself in ways I wouldn’t say to someone face to face or open up to them . .

This is Hasan [ my future husband  lml . . Lemme stop ) . . A hunnie right ? What can I say about him . . He’s a sweetheart … MYYY sweetheart . We talk alll day everyday & we never run out of things to say . . He swearsss Crown Heights is better than the Stuy [ -____- ) Lol ; & he swearss he could beat me [ which was never his lifestyle ) . But really . I could talk to him for HOURSS . I loveee him ; We always send each other Goood Morning Texts [ I’m usually first thou cus I DOES THISS - FCK U OTHER BITCHES ) ; We have soo much in common besides the fact that he’s ugly . He never wanna come to Marcy when i’m there but when i’m not find him dere . SMTT Lmao . I love you Hasan . . Keep being flyy & cute & sweet & ugly ; Lmao :-* =) . I’m not saying his Twitter name either cus I’m not sharing . So TUHH !

So in my school they have something called the Explorers club . . Basically they go on trips around the world every year and I loveee to travel so I decided to join . . Well this year they’re going to Italy, Greece, Rome, etc . for a 1O day excursion . . I really want to go . . It’s alot of money thou . & my mom said she’ll pay for it . But like *Sigh* . She gives me soo much on a daily basis that I don’t know if I really want to take that much from her at one time . Plus the fact that she said I have to go get new outfits for the trip . . I’m so excited for the trip & I know I can’t tell her this because she would tell me something like ” You’re my babygirl & whatever you want i’ll try ” . . & I know she has the money but IDK . It kills me . . She says it would be a great oppurtunity for me and she wants me to enjoy my childhood but really . .

My dad does NOTHING for me . . That hurts even more but what can I do . . He walked out on us when I was like two years old so did I really expect him to be there now ? But now he’s going through ” Financial Difficulties ” . . Why ? Because he has a girlfriend with two babies who doesn’t work & he pays for everything . . Which ends up affecting me . . If he had it he might have helped my mom . But he doesn’t and it stresses me out . .

I soooo wish I had a job to help my mom and stepfather out more . . Anyway . Don’t be disturbed if I post pictures of Italy, Greece, Rome, etc. , i’m excited . =)

7 is my favoriteeeeeeeeeeeee number BTW =D

Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad/mad, bored, hyped

I honestly just listen to whatever is on my iPOD . . Every song on there relates to me or makes me feel better or keeps me in my mood some type of way . . That’s why I LOVEEEE my iPOD . :-*

Ok . . So i FINALLY called T- Mobile . . They’re sending me a new phone but it’s going to come in 3 -4 days . . WAYY too LONG ! But what can I do ? It’s better than not getting one back at all . UGHHHH . . Idk how some people do it . .

hillstaysolo:

I wanna get a job but i been lookin nd everywhere i go i’m too young. Like i’m tired of lookin fuh a job. I’m 15 i jus wanna make my own money. Is that too much to ask for :[

My Phone broke on Thursday “/ . . Now if you know me well , you know I CNT LIVE WITHOUT THAT THING CALLED A BLACKBERRY !!!!! . . I don’t even understand what happened to the thing . . I was making a video . Then my phone vibrated so I went to put my code in and it was just black . . So I took my battery out , put it back in and my phone came on and my screensaver came up . But then it went back to black . . *Sighsss*

Worst thing about it is i’m not even sure if my contacts are saved on my SIM . . I had over 2OO contacts . & like 3OO BBM contacts “/ -____- . . Like 2OO songs . . & don’t get me started with my pictures . .

Anyways . . Being phoneless for 2 days is horrible . But I hopefulllyyyyy would get a new one today . . I HATE BLACKBERRIES for this !!!!!!

Is it me . Or am i the only one who thinks females who smoke a lot are unclassy and unlady- like ?

It hurts knowing that the person you like so much doesn’t want to take it the same place that you do .

Short term goals for this month

Well the month is almost over and I achieved my September goals which were to get through my first month of school and make sure my grades are my priority.

For October , I hope to keep it up in school . . Keep the females hating and keep my grades up . I also want to help my mother out more because lately she’s been working a lot & she just started school so yeahh . =)

confessionsofjey:

A Part Of Growing Up ;

Is Knowing Nothing Last Forever ;

Learning That Friends Come & Gooo ;

Learning That At Some Points You Would Get Disappointed

You Might Not Get What You Want Right Away

The One You Love May Not Love You Back

But Hey That Lifeee ;

I don’t have time for little kid games . . I honestly remember now why I HATEEE females :

1. Always wanna argue| fight over petty bullshit . . Like pleaseee ! Give it up

2. Always jealous or hating on someone or something . . Everyone is unique in their own ways . So hating on another female is unnecessary because yall are different !

3. Backstabbing and talking about each other behind another’s back . Then when the person come around yall best of friends o_O

4. The boy thing - Just because you messed with one or two boys who broke your heart , doesn’t mean all boys are the same . . & fighting over boys is a no no too .

5. I hate when females get mad at SUBLIMINALS / or tweets that they think | wish was for them . . If your name is not in the tweet,text, message, etc. then why you wanna fight over it ?

6. Why smile is someone face and then as soon as a bunch of haters talking bout that person you right along with them ? Like really . Thats being FAKE .

7. Doing shit just to be down ; smoking - doing hoe like activites - etc . NOT CUTE

That’s just a few . . Stop worrying about fighting and arguing & worry about getting your money !!! Truthfully . That other stuff don’t matter . These people that you meet now ain’t gone b w| you forever . .

& As for me . I don’t fight and carry on over dumb stuff . I’m a young lady & I conduct myself in a mannerful way . . I’m grown and I act like it . . Fighting a dub . . Especially when you’re fighting haters or people jealous of you ! So I just look at them and laugh . Then tell them remember my face ;-*

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Lemme guess .. You expect me to put a picture of a celebritiy, singer, rapper, etc. right ? Well NOO . . The lady who birthed me has the biggest impact on my life . . In all honesty , in my eyes , she’s bigger than any of those people . .

She’s an amazing indiviual ! Everyone who has met her has said it . . She taught me everything I know . . I can talk to her about ANYTHINGG ! Really . . Most people don’t go to their own mothers they go to other people . . But I go to mine . . She’s an independent female although she is married. She’s always been the type who doesn’t need no male in her life [ except my brother ) . . She makes her OWN money , buys her OWN things , and does wth she wants . . She has a rich bad mentality . . and she doesn’t care what people have to say but NEVER lets anyone disrespect her . . She set goals for herself and stuck to them . . She’s back in school furthering her degrees . & I love her with all my heart . No matter how much she annoys me . Love u MOMMYY !

Your favorite song

Right now . My favorite songs are You Be Killin Em - Fabolous , The Usual - Trey Songs & Can’t Be Friends - Trey Songs

Well today I got the news that someone else in my school was talking about me . . Whooop ti do ! No really . I DEADASS LOVE IT . Not to sound cocky but hey who doesn’t love attention ? It’s interesting because the people who talk about me now a days . . Yea . I DNT EVEN KNOW THEM . Lmao . Funny part . So they’re not only DICKRIDING me . But they’re hating on me . . I mean . . Everywhere I go it’s something someone has to say [ goood or bad ) but damn . I guess i’m used to it by now . . My haters imaginations are AWESOME thou . Cus it’s funny how they just make up stories about someone they don’t even know . Smh . This is life . . People run up to me & tell me like I really care . My friends know me VERY well . So at this point they don’t even tell me what was said . They just say ” Another Hater ” or ” Just killed another career , it’s a mild day [ Nicki voice ) ” . . See my attitude is like that because I dead used to argue with haters all day when I was younger . But then I realized :

1. That’s satisfying them . Why would I want to make them happy and feel they’re getting to me

2. If I argue with everyone who says something about me , I’ll me arguing 19|7 . . Lml .

3. I’m mature enough to brush it off .

Now when I hear about the images people set for ME , I just laugh . & nowadays BOYS be worse than the females . Like comeeee onnnnnn ! What is yourr life about ? Really thou . My circle is extremelyyy small . WHY ? Because I don’t trust ANYone . . Even people in my circle i’m ” if - y ” about . .

Moral of this lesson is - DO YOU CUS I DAMN SURE DOES ME =) . & Fck the haters . . Make them buzz some more . . HEHEHEHE

-abeautifulsin:

I’m an emotional ass person.

I try not to cry so much for the fear of looking weak and vulnerable. I HATE looking/feeling vulnerable; even though I now know it’s okay to need someone to be there.

But I can’t not cry. It’s like my way of releasing all my emotions and pent up feelings. No matter how I try to hide it.

My day was okay until towards the end . . I just hate the surroundings that i’m around on a daily basis . The people in my school are so fake . . Girls dislike me for this stupidest things . . & I haven’t got into any altercations NO . . But damn they can’t get my name out their mouths . . I mean I talk to people in my school . . But a very few because if thou I just started , I already know I can’t trust these females & the boys in there are even worst … It blows mine cus I used to only trust boys but these boys are BITCH - made . . Excuse my language . I don’t like boys who run they mouth because honestly , boys are supposed to be the ones who just chill  & are laid back . . But in my school they be doing too muchh ! I think another factor of the reason i’m so aggy is because I really have noo hunnie . . Boys is my school are UGHH ! Boys period are UGHH ! Whenever I think I found one , they flip shit up ! One minute they want me next minute they don’t . . Whatever boy I cuff will be one lucky male . . But until then i’m done with the bull ! From now on i’m to myself . . In school it’s grades, outside of school it’s family & my MAIN MAIN MAINSS ! Really thou !